Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Randomize
