if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
