went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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