Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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