Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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