Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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