We're facebook friends in real life
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
