Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I just googled if crying burns calories
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
