Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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