Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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