You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Walk of Shame today included voting.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
