The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
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should my penis look like a turkey
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
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Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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