I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
