plz talk dirty to me
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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