Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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