At least make sure they are 18
Why
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
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What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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