Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Randomize