they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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