If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
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