Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
