The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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