I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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