I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
