I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
