Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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