Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
