did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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