Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
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He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize