Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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