im having a threesome with these popsicles
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
Randomize
