Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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