I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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