I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
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