is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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