It's Friday. Sex?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
