maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
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he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
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The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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