Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Randomize
