Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
