i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Randomize
