She said her name was "party"
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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