Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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