none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
