Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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