It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
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He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize