I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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