Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
