im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
