Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
