You really coming over, don't trick.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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