When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
