I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
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