i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize