God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
