Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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