Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
Randomize
