I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize