too bad you live with your parents still
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
