Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Randomize
