you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
