Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
