If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
