Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
