im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
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You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
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My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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